no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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