i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize