if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize