The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize