When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i was born a porn star she said
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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