ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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