I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize