Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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