So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize