i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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