I look better un-naked...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize