Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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