Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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