You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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