Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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