Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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