Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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