fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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