he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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