I wish I could teleport
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize