"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize