Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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