So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize