I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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