He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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