WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did you just see the Batmobile???
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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