he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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