After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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