Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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