My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Small penises have feelings too.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Shame is for Republicans.
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