Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.

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(734): Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/qw5y

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(440): View more from Ohio

you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..

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(440): you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents.. http://tfl.nu/shss

Replies (17) Good night (478) Bad night (3800)
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(616): View more from Michigan

every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

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(616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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(479): He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/ga3r

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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(856): You tried to poop in the sink last night. http://tfl.nu/6e7d

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(806): View more from Texas

That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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(806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity

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(717): There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity http://tfl.nu/xz3u

Replies (6) Good night (1780) Bad night (678)
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(301): View more from Maryland

OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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(301): OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/e5zg

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently

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(204): Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently http://tfl.nu/ky82

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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(218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf

Replies (6) Good night (1411) Bad night (574)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity

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(250): I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity http://tfl.nu/6n2x

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(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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(607): Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy. (426): So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee. http://tfl.nu/cx81

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(612): View more from Minnesota

It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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(612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.

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(337): Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work. http://tfl.nu/3b5u

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(336): View more from North Carolina

That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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(336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra

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