dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize