i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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