; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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