we made out on top of his cat.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize