Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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