yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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