About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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