I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize