Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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