My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize