She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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