So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
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I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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