Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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