she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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