Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize