Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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