Don't make out with my wife yet
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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