We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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