i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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